Bye Bye Bobo= Hello Disaster

A week ago today, I left work went home and casually said "Bye Bye Bobo," just as we had rehearsed. The months of conversations were had. I illustrated and published a book!, for goodness sake, all culminating in this very important step of saying good- bye to Nori's pacifier. Truly, I thought we had been prepared for this. We were doing the right thing.
Boy, was I wrong.
We have had 6 nights of 2-3 hour screaming, vomiting, climbing out of the crib, and good old body slamming protest. The funny thing is that she never asked for Bobo. A few times she said through her sobbing, "No more bobo. Nori is a big girl."
So we went on. Back and forth between crib and big girl bed. Eventually we had to fall asleep with her either in our bed or her big bed.
Did she want the big girl bed because she associated no more bobo with no more crib, ie. baby bed? We felt that two transitions were too much at once. And it was. She crawls right out of the big girl bed and down the hallway she goes.
She is so incredibly smart that I know she understands what we are saying and what she needs to do. But she can't(won't) fall asleep on her own. I think at first she tried to. Now it just seems like habit- as soon as it is bed time- her body switches over to full protest mode. She becomes an animal acting to protect herself.
Did we do "cry it out" too much when she was younger? Did she learn that she has to be violently upset to protect herself? Does she trust us? So many agonizing questions between our tears, and her literaly glass shattering cries that have filled our house for a week.
Oh, and there hasn't been one nap in a week either.
Mind you, for the past year of her life there has been only 2 days I can recall she hasn't napped. And no memory, not one, of her not falling asleep on her own. When she has had ear infections, she wakes up later in the night upset, but goes to bed fine.
So- what on earth have we done? to her? to us? to our peaceful lives? to sleep?!!
Oh, how I wish I could go back in time 7 days. But we would never have known.
So, we pressed on every night, thinking something would give.
And yesterday, it did. As I passed the Rite Aid, I pulled in. I walked in and spent 7 dollars for two new, sparkly, party print, Bobos. You would have thought I was making a drug deal. I felt out of control excited at the prospects this piece of plastic could bring to me. I felt guilty as though I should hide them. Yet, I just wanted to hold them in my hand and believe. Believe my life's rhythm would return.
With as high an energy kid as Nori is, we rely, we thrive off her steady sleep schedule.
And now with all that out of the window, I am humbled. I am at my end and the begining of true motherhood - the place of sacrifice, bewilderment, and heart break.
We gave Nori the new Bobo last night and explained we realized she wasn't ready to say bye yet. To be honest, I expected a miracle, for me to lay her in the crib and to pretend that the last week was simply a bad dream.
But she was out of the crib in 10 seconds, now that her protesting has taught her that skill. She ended up in the big girl bed. But there was progress in that I sat next to her as she fell asleep instead of laying with her.
Hopefully, we can fade this out. I am tired.
And once again, I am humbled in awe of how little I can control things and overwhelmed at this task of parenting.

I am gonna be a big sister!

I can hardly wait. I love babies and taking care of them. I think Mommy's baby is stuck, it hasn't come out yet. I like to point out that Baby has TWO milks on Mommy's chest. I also like to tell other people where the baby will come out. Mommy and Daddy are getting my new room ready. I am so excited to sleep in a big girl bed. I also like to talk about how I am going to say "Bye Bye Bobo," because Bobos are for babies. I am not sure I am going to like that one.
Speaking of growing up, they are still trying to get me to use the potty, but I am not interested. Diapers are so much more convenient.
I like to say MINE to everything that I like. This doesn't go so well when I am playing with other kids my age. Mommy says she is sorry to the other Mommies a lot. Once I was saying MINE so much that another baby touched my face and I said "MY FACE." Mommy's instinct was to tell me, "share your body." Daddy got mad and said "NO- don't ever share your body." I think they are going to have some differences when I 'm a teenager!
One of my favorite sayings lately is "no home." I would much rather be on an adventure somewhere than at home. Every time I see a school bus, I want to get on. Mommy told me I have to go alone, because no mommies are allowed on the school bus. I told her it was because Mommies are too noisy.
I have had LOTS of ear infections this winter:( They make me wake up EARLY in the morning, like 4am. Mama is very grouchy and tells me that the sun is still sleeping. One morning I was even more grouchy than she was and just kept screaming at the sun to wake up. Mama says I am in charge of a lot of things, but not the sun.
Whenever I get an ouchie anywhere, I like to put the bandaid on my hand, then I can see it an it makes me feel better:) I go through about a box on bandaids a month.

Lately I have been taking my clothes on and off. Well, mainly off. It is harder to put them back on without getting stuck.
Yesterday when Mommy came into my room in the morning, I was completely naked. I was being very quiet and saying "shhhhh baby in mama's belly is sleeping."
Mommy laughed at me.
My other new saying is "soooooo happy to see you." when guests come over. And "thank you for coming," when they leave.
Oh- before I forget, I only have ONE more day with Bobo. Tomorrow is doomsday!! no more bobo????!! I will let you know next week how it went. I have a feeling I will figure out how to keep bobo.