Christmas thoughts

Last year, I had a huge Christmas "crisis" as I struggled with what to emphasize with Nori. This year, I am confronted with the same questions, but do feel in agreement with my resolve last year that Jesus would be the story I talked about the most. I remember my fear that Jesus would be too watered down and insincere if I attempted to correlate my dear religion to the craziness of Christmas in America. As Nori is begining to be exposed to the symbols around her, trees, lights, images of Santa, it is fun to see her brain make sense of it all. And I realize that she is on her own journey that I don't always control.

She told us that Santa is pretend, and that she wants to be Santa and wear a costume. She knows that Christmas is in honor of Jesus's birth so she sets up the nativity sets as though they were a birthday party- her all time favorite event. So I tell her that the star shows the way to the party and that people traveled from far away to bring gifts.She arranges them  and sings Happy Birthday to Jesus as she cradles him. Birthdays and babies- two things she "gets."

In line with her birthday obsession, she often states her birthday is "coming up." When I told her it was after Jesus's, she was not too happy and insisted hers come first.  When I ponder what she loves about birthdays, I realize it is the celebration spirit: the people coming together, the beauty of candles and cake, the decorations. But most of all, I imagine it is the "vibe" that I have put off around birthdays and the vibe that is present in these celebrations.  I pray that we can allow Christmas to be about this vibe of being together, of lovingly giving the "birthday kid" all the attention. 
I realize they left out the food in the manger scenes. Surely Mary was ravenous after giving birth and the first few days of nursing. And surely at a celebration there were treats for those that traveled "from afar."

In another vein, I have also been considering the threats of the "elf on the shelf" and Santa's naughty and nice list.  We were shopping and an older, ableit a little scary, woman whispered in Nori's ear, "you know who is coming? You better not be naughty," Nori was understandably confused, what does naughty mean? But really, who is coming? Advent is defined as Jesus is coming!  Much of our parenting a two year old includes the "if you ________, then you will get_____" phrases. I am exhausted by and unsure of these tactics at times. And surely, I don't want to make Christmas yet another behavior bribe. If we are going to allow religion to come into Christmas, shouldn't it reflect the beauty of God's grace, of unearned gifts?
I am also disturbed by how if there is a naughty and nice list, who is on the naughty list? And how sad for Nori to think that there might be kids somewhere that don't get gifts because they were bad.

So, today is St Nick's day. As I read about him, I am most struck by his love for children. Just because they are children, he cared for them and gave small treats. Children are in a sense the innocence of humanity, let's not suck them into our adult world of performance and earning.
So I think in some sense St Nick will come by our house, as the giver of gifts- just because. Not because anyone has been nice. As a reflection and celebration of the gift of the grace- of Jesus. And there will be food and joy and singing and candles.